Forgiving
by RebelzHeart
Summary: Superman attempts to connect with Superboy. It's not easy.


He isn't quite sure what to make of Superboy at first.

He's... a clone.

That makes Clark uneasy, makes something strange swirl in his chest and it sits there for a long time.

He doesn't know how to talk to Connor, or even if he should.

 _I'm just a reminder of everything that he can't have_.

So he stays away.

He knows... he knows that it's wrong, that he should talk to Connor, but at the same time the voice inside his head whispers that Connor would be better off without Clark awkwardly trying to make amends.

And even though he knows that it's dumb, for a while, Clark chooses to stay away.

He excuses himself by saying that Connor doesn't have around, but he knows that it's for his own sake that he acts distant. (The thought makes him angry, but even though he hates himself for doing it, he stays away.)

By the time that he finally gets up the guts to talk to him, Connor seems too mad at him to want to talk anymore. (Clark doesn't blame him.)

So, coward that he is, he goes to Robin for advice. "You're his friend." Clark mumbles, flushing at the wide grin on Robin's face. "Can you tell me what to do."

"Just talk." Robin cackles, as though he knows that it isn't going to be that easy. "Connor thinks of you the same way that I think of Batman."

Clark laughs at that. "You practically worship Bats," He replies, trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering about in his stomach. "Connor doesn't think of me like that. If anything, I think that he hates me."

Robin shakes his head, "I respect Batman, I want to be like him, he's someone I want to be with, but I understand he has his flaws." Robin looks away at that, and Clark hears his heart flutter, like Robin's confused. "Most days I want to become him. Some days, I think I could loathe him. But I love him, all the same."

"He raised you." Clark points out.

"Yeah," Robin's voice seems unsteady. "He did."

They end the conversation at that, awkwardly trying to pretend that they understand more than when they had first come to each other.

It's not until much later that Clark tries talking to Superboy. (Even then, it's more of a chance encounter than anything, he thinks.)

He's just left a meeting with the rest of the League, when the steady _thump, thump, thump_ of fists hitting something reaches him.

It's Connor (it must be, unless Captain Marvel has suddenly felt the urge to act like an unfocused ball of anger).

Something inside of Clark whispers to run away.

He heads towards the sound, instead.

For a while he just stands there, watching.

Then Connor demands, voice tight and filled with fury, "Why are you here?"

Clark stands up at that, and replies quietly, "Just wanted to check on you."

Connor turns, jaw clenched, brow furrowed, and snarls, "After all this time of acting like I didn't exist, you want to check on me?" He scoffs, and his fists go back to the punching bag, a steady _thump, thump, thump. "_ I wasn't born yesterday."

Clark swallows, trying to find the right words to say, and instead mumbles, "Your stance is sloppy." He can tell by the look that Connor is giving him that he might as well had called the boy a complete and utter disgrace, and tries to avoid Connor's gaze.

"I'm so sorry." Connor seethes, fists balled, heels digging into the ground. (He's probably trying not to attack him, Clark thinks, biting back a groan.)

Clark wants to open his mouth, to apologize, but he's done enough, and by the time that his mind gathers words that might be alright, Connor is gone, even more angry than before.

 _Stupid._ He thinks.

But he still says nothing.

The next time that he meets Connor, he apologizes. "It wasn't right for me to say what I said." He mumbles. "I hope that you can accept my apology. I was just trying to..."

"...connect with me." Connor finishes Clark's sentence, lips twisting to the side, eyes still cold with fury, and Clark can tell that the words, the understanding, it's not his own, but someone else's (probably Aqualad or Robin). "You weren't sure what to say, so you acted like a jerk."

Clark stares at his feet, he can tell from Connor's speeding heartbeat that Connor knows, _understands,_ even, but can't forgive.

"Aqualad says that you want to connect with me." Connor says, spreading out his arms. "So here's your chance. Connect."

But Clark can't, the right words won't come to his mouth, and he can hear his heart beating a mile a minute, threatening to burst out of his chest. A small, "I'm sorry.", is all that he can manage.

Connor's eyes are still cold, and Clark can tell that 'I'm sorry' isn't enough. "You're sorry?" Connor scoffs, back straight, legs stiff. "Sorry for what? That I was created? That you have to do this? That there's someone out there who doesn't think you're perfect? Are you sorry that Cadmus wanted to recreate you? Are you 'sorry' that Robin and the others found me that day? Sorry that I ruined your picture perfect life?"

At Clark's stunned silence, Connor's shoulders rise to his ears, knuckles turning white, bites his lower lip.

"Yeah," Connor seethes, "I'm sorry, too."

" _No,"_ Clark's voice is small, but he can tell from the way that Connor turns rigid that he's heard. "That's not what I'm sorry for."

Connor raises his head, chin up, back straight, jaw locked. "Then what are you sorry for?" He asks quietly.

"For not being there when you needed me."

Something flashes in Connor's eyes, and his fingers play with the edge of his shirt, his features twisting almost like those of a longing child's. "I never needed you." Connor replies, as Clark's left with an empty room.

* * *

"He hates me." Clark whines to Batman, laying on the couch. "He wants me to die."

Batman rolls his eyes, and asks, voice cool and steady, "Did he specifically say to go die?"

"No," Clark rolls over, groaning when he falls to the floor with a steady _thum_ _p_ , and mutters, "But I bet that he would be happy if I did."

"What is the evidence pointing to that?" Batman asks, his words as crisp and neat as a fresh shirt.

"This isn't a case." Clark mumbles into the floor.

He doesn't have to look at Batman to know that he's raising an eyebrow. "It would be much more efficient if you treated it as one, though." He notes neutrally. "Looking from an objective point of view allows for you to understand the flaws and objective, then calculating the attainability is a much more simple procedure."

"Do you do this with Robin?" Clark asks, frowning.

"I don't need to." He's not imagining the smug tone in Batman's voice. "I can efficiently communicate with and understand Robin, no in between information gathering and procedures are needed."

Clark rolls over again, muffling a shout when his head hits the table, stares up at Batman.

Batman stares back impassively. "What's holding you back?" Batman asks, but Clark can tell from his voice that he already knows.

"I don't want to treat him like an object." Clark admits, closing his eyes. "I don't want to mess this up any more than I already have."

Batman crouches down, and the ghost of a smile tugs at his lips. "There you go." He says quietly, voice satisfied. "Just be honest with him, and you'll be fine.

As Batman leaves, Clark can't help but think of how remarkably similar he seemed to Robin in that one, smug moment.

* * *

"You ought to talk to him."

Connor turned away from the crackling TV screen and frowned at Robin. "I don't want to." He replied bluntly, jaw locked in preparation for an argument.

Robin groaned, and leaped down from his place on the ceiling, fingers grasping beam after beam before leaping off, three quick flips succeeding one after the other, before Connor pushed off the floor and caught him easily.

"Give him a chance." Robin's voice sounded weary, as though he was prepared for Connor's stubbornness and had still chosen to try to convince him.

"I gave him a chance." Connor replies, knowing that he sounds childish, but doing it all the same. "I listened to him talk without running away."

"That's not a chance, not when you've been against him from the beginning." Robin replies, "You've got to try to forgive him."

"I can't forgive him." Connor's voice was soft as he pressed his head into his hands. "He thinks that I'm a mistake. He never wanted me to be created."

Robin looked away. "Maybe he never wanted you to be created." He agreed, "But neither did I. I'm glad that you were, though, and I'm proud to call you my friend." He turned to Connor. "Talk to him, and you just might be surprised."

* * *

He forgives Clark, in the end.

They talk for a while... first about Superboy, then to other things.

They talk about the sky, the sun, they talk about TV shows and how girls were hard to understand, about saving the world and about hating it.

And slowly, Connor realized that Clark was human, too. (Well, not exactly human... but something with emotions.)

So, in the end, Clark is forgiven.

And by then, he knows exactly what he thinks about Connor.

(He's like a son.)

 **A/N:** So, I know that it's kinda weird and choppy and that the tenses are all over the place, but here you go, my random blub of an attempt at a YJ fic.


End file.
